How Do You Know They're 'The One'?
Love is so interesting, but we’ve talked about that already. Finding it is that much more of a curious thing. Some spend their lives searching for it, thinking about it every waking moment, wondering if ‘the one’ is somewhere out there. Others don’t even think twice about it, barely let the “I wonder...” pass through their minds, just go about their life and then BAM.
I’m often asked how I knew. How I knew that I had found him- ‘the one’. What were the signs that made it prevalent, what shifted in my mind and heart that made me know. To clarify, I’m just talking about knowing that you’ve found your ‘soulmate’, not how you know you’re ready to marry them (that deserves its own separate space).
To be totally transparent, knowing full-well that I sound cliché, when you know you just know. It really is an intuition thing. That being said, don’t confuse this knowing with the warm fuzzy butterfly stuff that may come with the excitement of a new relationship. This isn’t about knowing you love someone, because depending on how your story plays out, you may truly have loved multiple people at different points in your life/relationships. This is knowing that you’ve found your person. Your forever. This is seeing the full story, looking at the big picture, and realizing that you’ve met the one that your Creator designed and created specifically for you. And when you really think about it, that’s huge. It hurts my brain to think about, honestly. Nonetheless, that’s the stuff I’m talking about when I talk about ‘the one’.
Oftentimes, your soulmate is also referred to as your ‘other half’. If you view this phrase as literal, do yourself a favor and delete it from your vocabulary. Before finding your person, you must be whole. If you don’t even know who you are, if you have any gaps to fill that you believe someone out there can “complete,” that intuition we talked about earlier will most likely be a little faulty. In the case of a strong relationship, 1+1=1, a very big and strong 1. I know others have spoken/written about this topic before, so I won’t get into it too much- but I believe it wholeheartedly. If two people enter a relationship with their cup half-full, thinking they’ll fill each other up, they’ll come to find out that both cups can’t always stay full. There will be times, yes, that they do. But no one can pour themselves into another 24/7. HOWEVER, if you pour one full cup into another, it will overflow. Two. whole. people.
Now, looking at the ‘other half’ or ‘you complete me’ terms a little less literally, some aspects are true. They ‘complete you’ because they will pick up where you may be slacking. They will encourage you in areas you need an extra push. They will see your imperfections, and instead of criticizing them, bring them to your attention in a way that helps you learn and grow. If you’re going to be spending forever with someone, it has to be someone that loves and encourages who you are as your own (whole) person, but is always by your side to help you grow in areas that need some tending to. And you must be ready to do the same for them.
Finding love isn’t really tricky, but finding your forever love may sometimes seem to be. Be patient. Know that they will come. Know that your Creator designed someone specifically for you, so you don’t have to settle for any less. Know that everyone’s love story is different, so don’t compare yours to those of others. Make sure you have worked on your own heart, make sure it’s whole- because two whole hearts coming together grow to make one big giant one, overflowing with enough love to last a lifetime.